Apr 06 2009
Consumerism and kids
A few months ago, I made a mistake and blogged about Adullam’s intentional fight against consumerism. I let the cat out the bag that we were going to take a season (about 4-6 months) and meet only twice a month for our normal all church worship gathering. We did this for two primary reasons. First, we looked back and realized that most of our conversion or transformation stories happened during spontaneous community time on the weekends. As people bounced off each other, ate together, played together, helped each other, and shared conversation about God, really cool stuff happened. Weekends in Denver are really the best time for this so we thought it would be missiologically appropriate to give God back the best time of the week. The second reason was to help filter through Christians that had “transferred” to us. We noticed that they were inspired by the Adullam story and Adullam way, but just came to church every week. Consumerism was a deep concern for us and we wanted more for them.
So we made the shift about four months ago. So what happened? Not sure yet. I’ve heard many of our people love it, some struggle but feel the tension is good for them, and others have been honest to express that maybe Adullam isn’t for them.
Here’s an email to that affect. “Hey Hugh, to get right down to it Village stuff just doesn’t work for us. Any sort of home group – regardless of the name – is just us being at home with kids running around, like any time at home. For us, we need a place to go where we can participate and the kids can be taught and everyone gets a break. We are pretty worn out by the time Sunday rolls around and we enjoy a break from the rest of the week. When Adullam stopped meeting weekly a few of us families tried to cram into our apartment a few times and it sort of fizzled after that.
Regarding the church Gathering, if we didn’t have kids I think it would be perfect for us. It’s a spontaneous, visceral, and ‘bare-knuckle’ kind of church. I was excited in the beginning about it, and it’s still a great group of people. But for our kids we want something more – something long term. The way it works now, I’m not sure Adullam is sustainable for families. I guess for us with three little kids, we need a church where there is weekly consistency and resources for kids. This is good for them and it’s good for us. Take care.”
Because of my overdeveloped pecs, sawed-off military haircut, and some candidly tough blogs and writings about church folk, people assume I’m a heartless drill sergeant who gets his kicks off of watching soft evangelicals whimper through the pain of mission. Actually, when I got this email, the Winter-warlock melted. I felt his pain, I admitted to him that I don’t like small groups, nor did I enjoy twelve kids running through my house, pooping on my carpet, or screaming while I tried to diatribe through Romans. I didn’t blame him at all, and I sincerely wanted to give him a man-hug, and start doing church services for him again.
The reality of life does leave people working their backsides off during the week, struggling to find good family time, recover from all the stress, etc. Therefore on one side of the dilemma, I believe it’s a great ministry that each church has to provide a place of spiritual solace for folks. I really mean that.
On the other side of the argument is what happened with two of our villages that same week. In a few hours I’m about to drive across town to help one of our communities, perform a dedication for one of their children. We do quite a few baby dedications in our normal church services, but this village wanted to do it in their home with friends from the neighborhood, family, and some of their Adullam friends. This village last night took all their adults out for a date together while another village watched all their kids. Apparently, they trade off so that the adults can take a break together. Then last night in our village, a bunch of the ladies got together to do a book club gathering at a home in our neighborhood where the homeowners have never been to church. Apparently, the husband eventually came downstairs and they got talking about life and before they knew it, the couple was asking about Adullam and shared how ever since their wedding, thought they should try a church. Sounds like they’ll be joining us for Easter next week.
As you can see, just this week in Adullam reflects the tension of consumerism, a churches role in trying to create pathways for people to move from fans to followers to fellow kingdom partners. I share this story not to suggest that we’ve made the right choice to make it this hard. Maybe we need to adjust. I suppose if Adullam had the resources we would gladly provide a weekly service, maybe multiple times so anyone struggling to keep their heads above water could at least have a community to worship with. But Adullam still has no full-time staff or building of our own. Thus, our pathway of discipleship may not be able to accommodate what a larger, more resourced church may be able to do. On the other side, maybe we’ll have a higher percentage of our people move deeper into mission because of our narrow way, and I suppose many larger churches would love the nimbility we have. Sometimes I think it’s just a matter of helping people think outside the box.
The first emailer, may never have thought that they could actually get more solace by trading babysitting with kids, and over time, he may find that integrating kids into mission might be more fun and spiritually formative than just dropping the kids off every Sunday for the next ten years.
And this is the point of this chapter. Every church has the same call. The main thing of making apprentices of Jesus is a non-negotiable. But each church has its own context, resources, and processes they must navigate in order to win the day over consumerism. Sometimes all it takes is helping people think outside the box. Although there’s always pain in not being able to meet everyone’s desired wants or felt needs, I think long term, we’re better to push than to pander or perform.
Thank you for writing this today, Hugh. As you know, we are into only our first week of villages. This concept is so foreign to the churched and embraced by the unchurched. We are reprogramming ourselves to be the church 7 days a week and not just for a Sunday morning show. It is interesting watching everyone’s reactions to the various situations that would include consumerism. For some it is a light bulb moment when they realize the call of the church. That is so encouraging! I love the fact that this is how we are starting though. We are starting fresh and you can either embrace the adventure of being a Christ follower or leave it for the mediocre “Christian” life. Thanks for all you do! We are praying for Adullam and know you are praying for browns mill!
We’re beginning to wrestle with the same issue. It seems strange to think an organic expression of church can’t find a way to nurture something as natural as children. And it seems like communities (or “villages”) will never fully outsource the discipleship of their children if they seek to be holistic. I tend to think the answer for lots of villages lies in the old saying, “It takes a village.” Children are integrated whenever and wherever possible and then cared for on some kind of rotation when adults need space. I really like the idea of villages stepping up to help other villages get some time without kids too. Ultimately though we need to be showing our moms and dads in our communities (villages) how to disciple their own children throughout the week because our kids are our most precious disciples.